Lee, I'm Being Still
by HeroJustInTime90
Summary: Playing this game, the ending didn't make me feel right. Letting Lee turn and all. So now, this story is about Clementine, she's older and wiser. She's had a better life but feels slightly empty. This is about Clementine going on an adventure to do what's right to her. To finish something she should have ages ago. She's trying to make things right. I hope you stick around.
1. Preface

Lee, I'm Being Still

**Author's Notes: I don't own anything the walking dead like. I just know that the way I played it inflicts my decisions for this story. Here's the thing, this is before season 2 could come out. I played Season 1, but things didn't sit right with me when I played it. I felt sad for leaving Lee there, to turn. This is when I got the idea to put myself in Clem's shoes, to find a way to sort things out and give her a memory filled adventure. Hope you guys will join me and review. It would be a great help. Thank you and enjoy! **

**By the way, this story is based on a song that I thought fit well with Clementine and Lee's relationship. It's The Fray's 'Be Still'. Listen to it and you'll know why, trust me. This is a preface, it will show you what will happen in the future.**

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Preface

Striding down, gun in pocket, sun on my shoulder and sweat dripping down my face. This was going to be difficult. If I couldn't do it then, how could I do it now? I didn't have the courage Lee did. Lee...He was the thing that kept me going each day. I had to do this alone, yet I couldn't at times. Terrible things have happened since this plague happened, sometimes I wished things would go back to how they were.

Yet if they did, I would of never met him. Never experienced that strong bond I had with him, the connection we had to each other. The fact he was...'my guy'. We stuck together, staying close no matter what. I just wish I could of done some things differently. Yet there was no going back.

Walkers cleared the streets, following a loud scream which gave me time to finish my task. To go back to where it should have ended, where I would get him out of his misery. Days that would go by, not one did I never think about him. Problem was, I was forgetting what happened between us.

Cutting through streets, I felt my heart hammer in my chest. My breath hitch into my throat. _Stay strong Clem, you can do this. _I calmed myself mentally. With each heavy step to the familiar street, to the familiar place, a voice echoed in my ears strong. Loud and clear.

_"You're strong Clem. You...you can do anything," he whispered as his breathing laboured. "But...I'm little," I cried out in fright. He was leaving me. Forever. "Doesn't mean nothing. You're going to see bad stuff, but...It's ok," he panted with sorrowful eyes. _

A tear streamed down my cheek as my body weight kept pushing me to the ground. Holding onto my broken heart, trying to keep going for Lee's sake. I couldn't fall apart just to abandon this mission. Taking a deep breath, I clench my eyes for a fraction of a second and carried my way over to the specific place.

My body tensed when I looked up at the abandoned building, inside the corpse of the most special person to me in this world. Someone I had to make amends with, something I had to put right. I had to do this, not changing my mind and not changing this course. This had to change, I had to be at peace with myself...With him. Slipping in, I sensed myself overwhelmed when I heard the noise from behind me.

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**What do you think? Should I continue? For the record, I cried like a baby while writing this. I was listening to the scene of Lee's death while I had to write down that memory. Please review, it would help me out a lot. Question to end with: **

**What do you think about this preface?**

**Review for Clementine!**

**Much love! **

**HeroJustInTime90 x **


	2. Chapter 1: After Math

Lee I'm Being Still

**Author's Notes: I don't own anything Walking Dead in relation. Just my idea for this story. Also the way I think it should go even if you did shoot Lee. It will make sense later. Just join me through this experience and you will see. **

**P.S: This will be from Clem's point of view. In this chapter it will have the moment she is walking in the field. After it will show her in the future, beware because it will make her seem crazy but...It will all be explained.**

**The way I imagine Clementine would look like in her 20's (Just take out the spaces): http: fs70/ PRE/i/2012/346/b/6/ clementine_the_walking_dead_all_grown_up_1_by_**

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Chapter 1: After Math

**Day of Lee's death**

Wandering down an empty field, my heart was heavy in my chest. Tears still streaming down my face as my feet dragged across the grass. Weight of my body aching every inch of me. This was the worst day of my life. Images of Lee flashed in my eyes with every tear drop.

His dying face, his cold skin and tired expression. Remembering how heavy he was as I guided him in the store. Every moment with him...I would cherish, but I knew it would pain me to remember him. My heart felt like it had been punched. Everything I cared for, loved even...Was gone. They were walkers. My parents...Lee. People who were the most important things to me.

Wiping at tears, I could feel them soak into my jumper as they dried to nothing. How badly I wished that we could just go back. To when we met, to when nothing mattered only me and him. Where did time go? Where did he go? Why did I leave?

Slumping my body onto a tree log, I just stare at the ground and ponder. Why? Why did this have to happen to me? The image of his face wouldn't get out of my head. The way he looked so sad, knowing it was the end for him and I couldn't do anything to save him. Looking down, I noticed shotgun shells and reached to pick them up. What? Why? Who? Huh? I felt confused.

From the corner of my eyes, I noticed some figures moving in the distance. Staring, squinting to get a good look and noticed that it was a couple. _Could it be Christa and Omid? Or could it be walkers? Could it be strangers? Who is it? __**What **__is it?_

They seemed to be coming closer, my heart was pounding. Repeatedly thumping at a fast speed. I had no control as my body shivered with fear, my hands trembling and heart in my throat. Deliberating, I wandered either to call for them or to let them leave. Not wanting to get eaten alive at this rate, not after all I had been through. I couldn't give up, Lee wouldn't want that. He wants me to keep fighting.

Panting, gasping for air as I was undecided on what to do. The palms of my hands sweaty, my body was completely out of control and I had no idea how to control it. My mouth opened and closed, as though I wanted to say something. _What should I do? Should I risk it? How many shots do I have? Do I want to risk the sounds?..._

"Clementine, sweat pea...Did you not hear a word I said to you before? I told you to never be afraid. Fear is what kills us. Also, the bullet you saved was for a reason. Just be careful how you approach situations. Remember that," Lee's familiar voice echoes in my ear. Then the sudden feel of a hand tingle on my shoulder. Looking at the place I felt someone touching me, I saw there was nothing.

"It's Christa and Omid, call them but be careful with nearby walkers on these fields," his voice tells me and I just stare down at the floor. "Don't be afraid," he whispers before I felt the touch disappear, and a strong gust of wind envelopes me as the tingling left with it. Staring into the sunset, of two people wandering down the hill and I shut my eyes momentarily.

Taking a deep breath, I filled my lungs with air and let it go with a call. "Christa! Omid! I'm here!" I call out to them, seeing them wander down the hill faster. Feeling uncertain, I pulled my gun out and held it ready to shoot. Squinting, I then heard feet running towards me. Panting, gasping for air as they stopped in front of me.

"Clementine, sweetie...You can put the gun down," I hear Christa's voice calmingly instruct and I open my eyes. Slowly lowering the gun, I saw her and Omid stood in front of me. Perfectly unharmed, gasping for air and bending while holding onto their knees. "Where are Kenny and Ben?" I ask them confused and they just look at me sadly.

A deadly silence. Not one word was muttered for a minute, just the silent exchange as they looked to one another. When they finally looked at me, their eyes filled with sorrow and pain. "We'll tell you when you're older sweetie," Christa tells me and I nod. "We've been looking for you everywhere kiddo," Omid says patting my shoulder. The way it slipped out of his lips, weren't the same as how Lee would call me 'kiddo'.

Sighing deeply, I looked into their eyes and Christa smiles sadly at me. "Come on Clementine. We're going to find a farm, somewhere safe and somewhere you can grow up peacefully," she tells me as she gently places her hand on my back. Walking over to a car, I looked up to her confused and she nods. "We found this car in Savannah, that's how we got out," she explains and I nod.

Getting into the car, I buckled up and looked out the window to look at the log, just for a second. Lee was sitting there, smiling softly and he looked just like when I first met him. Except, he didn't have a limp and he didn't have the cut. He looked...Normal. Looking away, I did a double take and my eyes were wide. Nothing. He was gone. No one was there. Just my imagination. My heart sank, while I looked down and back to the front.

Christa smiled, as Omid drove us away from here. Leaving Savannah and finding another place to be. My memories of Lee, were strong and hurting my head. Although, it was mostly hurting my heart. Hopefully, these memories won't drive me insane just like it did now. Only time will tell...

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**11 years later **

I had just woken up, my hair was a tangled mess and was driving me insane. Noticing it was getting long, I reached to open my bedside drawer and pulled out my scissors. Brushing my hair, I then started snipping away and was almost done when Christa came in. I turned 20 just a couple of days ago and I didn't feel any different.

"Clementine, sweetie...Why is it every time I come in, you either just got up or you cut your hair?" she questions and I just shrug. "It just...I don't know it feels natural to cut it when it starts to get too long," I tell her honestly. All I could remember is ever since I got to the farm, I would cut my hair by myself every time it grew too long. She giggles, before walking in and sitting down next to me.

My legs were crossed, facing the head of my bed and she sat with a leg tucked under the other. "Omid says he wants to talk to you..._After _you have breakfast," she says with a smile and I just nod. Finishing with the cutting, I placed it in a bobble and slipped my baseball cap on. "I'll see you downstairs," she says patting my leg. Running came from down the hall as a boy with half-cast skin, brown eyes and black hair came stumbling into my room.

"Mom! Can you make me breakfast?" Carter asks and I giggle. "Sure sweetie, are you not going to say good morning to Clementine?" Christa asks and I roll my eyes. "Morning sis!" he says with a lot of enthusiasm. "Good morning to you too Carter," I say with a shake to my head. Christa gets up, smiles at me and takes Carter down stairs to eat. Getting up, I slip on my clothes and looked in the mirror before going down to eat.

When I was heading out after eating, Christa was preparing Carter for a lesson. We have two cows, a couple of chickens, a couple of cockerel and a bull. Living here, is mostly peaceful and not as bad as the cities. There are times when walkers would stumble into our fences. Mostly me and Omid would take care of them. Taking turns to be on watch. At night we would leave the generators on, letting the walkers fry.

During the day, we patrol the area and dispose of any walkers. I would go on raids, grabbing supplies like gasoline and medicine. Normally, at night either me or Omid would patrol and keep watch. Funny thing is, we also barricaded the farm with a fence. On the outside we had the wires, on the inside we had fences incase the wires wouldn't work.

I'm now 20, Carter is soon turning 11 and he is like my brother. I don't remember anything about the outbreak, in all honesty I bearly remember my childhood. All I remember is Christa and Omid bringing me up in this world, in this farm. Walking towards Omid who was patrolling the perimeter and stopped when he saw me. "Hey Omid, what's up?" I ask him and he smiles. "Hey Clem, I need you to raid again. We're low on gas and medicine," he tells me and I nod.

"You understand that I have to stay to look after Christa and Carter," he explains and I nod. "I know, by the way...Walker," I say motioning towards it with my chin. He turns to see the gurgling walker try to reach us and he sighs. "You want to take care of it or shall I?" I ask him and he shakes his head. "You can, I do it regularly but...It just doesn't sit right with me," he says and I nod.

Picking up the familiar red hammer, I swing it at the walker's head and it stops gurgling. Slumping to the ground, it didn't move or make a sound. "Anyway, I'll be heading out in a moment. I'm just going to grab some tools and stuff..." I say with a giggle. "Let me guess...Your going to grab some walker killing tools?" he guesses and I laugh while walking away.

"Crazy little bitch," he mumbles and I just laugh louder. Heading into the house, I grab my knifes and my special gun. One that I had ever since I got to the farm. Slipping my pocket knife in my jeans, it was my luck weapon, I headed out and took the car. It was a green one, the red one was the get away car, for if they needed to leave instantly.

Going to a nearby town, I found a gas station and a drugstore. Noticing there were only a couple of walkers, I slid past them and entered the drugstore. Creeping inside, laying low and scrounging for medicine. Just as I was about to grab the last one to fill up the bag, a walker pulled my leg. Causing me to fall flat on my back and it to crawl onto my body.

Struggling to get it off me, I noticed my bag fell out of my reach. My body started to panic, I was hyperventilating but I wasn't screaming, I knew better than to scream. "Get up Clementine! Punch him! Then grab your knife!" I hear a familiar yet unrecognizable voice. It was deep, masculine and then I saw a man above me. Black hair, dark brown eyes, blue button up shirt, white sleeves underneath and brown jeans.

"Sir, could you please get him off of me! Please?! Do something!" I whisper shouted as I pushed the walkers face away from me. "I can't do anything, I wish I could but...I can't. You have to take care of yourself," he answers in a normal tone. "Keep quite then, especially if you're not going to help," I growl at him angrily. "Hurry, or it will get you," he says worried and I look to it.

He was trying to bite me, gnawing in front of my face as his hands tried to grab at my stomach. Punching it hard, I pushed it off of me and reached in my pocket. Pulling the pocket knife out, I flicked it and stabbed the walker in it's head. "You need to get out of here," the man instructed and when I turned to look at him, I saw him leave through a door and disappear. Grabbing my bag of supplies, I looked up to the door and saw my worst nightmare.

Suddenly, walkers crashed into the drugstore, attempting to get me and I ran. Following the stranger out into the streets, I noticed all the walkers were coming after me. I slammed the door shut, blocking it with a trash disposal. Rushing to find the survivor, I saw him next to the gas station and he just looked at the fuel. "Quickly grab at least 3 and run," he says when I finally meet up with him.

"What are you on about? You have to come with me? Right?" I ask him and he shakes his head no. "Goodbye...And be safe," he says before he just vanished to thin air in front of my eyes. "What the..." I mumble and suddenly hear walkers trying to get out of the drugstore. Grabbing the gas, I rushed out and got into the car. _What was he? Am I losing my memory? That voice though and his face...It seemed so familiar yet so foreign at the same time! Is he a memory? Or am I going mad?..._

Speeding away, I got home and stomped my way into the house. "Christa! Omid?!" I call and find them in the kitchen. "What's wrong?" Christa questions. "I've got the supplies. Almost got the chomp from a walker, but I'm fine. Thing is...I saw someone. A survivor I think. Scary thing is...He disappeared into thin air," I tell them and they look at each other worried.

"What did he look like?" Omid asks me scared. "He was tall, black hair, black skin, dark brown eyes, facial hair and he looked...In his mid thirties," I tell them and they exchange glances. "What was he saying?" Christa asks. "He was telling me to go, to get the stuff and what to do to get the walker off of me," I told them but I then sighed. "His voice though, he sounded so worried...So sincere and it sounded so familiar," I tell them which just makes the room go silent.

"Could it be?" Omid asks Christa and she just frowns. "I'm afraid it could," Christa replies and they look to Carter. "Carter, could you go in your room for a while please? Play with your action figures," Omid suggests and he quickly runs up to his room. "What was all that about?" I ask them as they take a seat. Christa pushes one and points to it, telling me to take a seat.

"Clementine, sweetie...What do you remember of the day we found you?" she asks me and I just sit there thinking. "Not much, just that you found me in a field and I was sitting on a log before you showed up," I explained to them and they frown. "Do you remember anything before that?" Omid asks and I try to think back, but came up with nothing. "No, that's all I remember...Why?" I question them and they look at me saddened.

"The man you saw today was...Lee," Christa says gently placing her hand on mine. "Who's 'Lee'?" I ask her confused and she sighs. "He was your carer, when the plague broke out...He found you in your house and he took care of you ever since," they tell me and I just look at them confused. "What...What was he like?" I ask them and they look at me sadly.

"He was a good man, one that adored you just as you did with him," she explains and I just nod. Flash backs of different faces with different names blurred my vision. "Kenny, Katja, Ben, Lilly, Carley, Doug, Glen, Larry, Mark, Duck, Shaun, Chet, Hershel, Molly, Vernon, Brie, Chuck and...My parents as...Walkers," I whisper as all these faces flashed continuously. "I can't remember Lee. St John Dairy?" I question.

They look at me confused, as though I just mentioned names of different species of aliens. "Kenny...Ben...What happened to them?" I ask them and they look at me sadly. "They...Died the day Lee went looking for you," Omid explains. "How?" I question feeling my body not want to know this but Omid told me. He told me how Ben fell off a balcony, and how Kenny killed Ben so he wouldn't feel the pain of being eaten.

Gasping, I felt myself become speechless and just stood up. Stepping up the stairs, I looked back down only to see Omid and Christa look at me sadly. "I won't be doing the night shift tonight...Sorry," I replied in a dead tone. "It's alright, take the time you need Clem," Omid calls up to me. Nodding, I head into my room and get ready for bed. Slipping into bed, I thought about the people I saw, I just couldn't remember 'Lee'. _What happened?_

All night I tossed and turned, thinking about who those people were and why I couldn't remember Lee. That was when I finally made a decision on where I would go and what I would do. Needing to figure out, who, what and where I was. I needed to find out...

Next morning, I got my stuff packed and stashed some food with me. Heading down early, I was prepared. Weapons sorted, emotions in tact, any supplies I would need and enough knowledge of walkers. Striding down the stairs, I got myself some breakfast and was surprised to find Christa and Omid at the doorway.

"What are you doing?" Omid questions with his arms crossed. "I'm leaving," I tell him with no emotion evident in my voice. "And...Where exactly do you think you are going?" Christa questions with an eyebrow raised. "To find out my past, now let me go," I beg of them and they exchange glances. "Sure, but please...Be careful," Christa begs and I nod. "I will be," I tell her and head out.

"I can go with you," Omid suggests and I just shake my head no. "I need to do this alone, to find my past only I will know," I explain and he nods. "Anyway, Christa and Carter need you," I explain further. "Alright," Omid agrees as I walk off. "Wait, here," Omid says throwing me the keys to the motorbike. "She's full of gas," he explains and I just smile.

"Thanks," I reply and slide onto the motorbike. Bringing it to life, I revved before I sped away. _I will remember! I promise I will remember it! If it's the last thing I do...I'm going to find out what happened to Lee. Who he is and what he means to me. Why would I forget him? _Without looking back, I drove down the streets and grip the handle bars. This was going to be my biggest adventure...

_~L.I.B.S~_

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**What do you think? Can I have 5 reviews for this chapter? Question to end with:**

**What do you think so far?**

**Much love**

**HeroJustInTime90 x**


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